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Praise the developing character in your child as it emerges in active, loving, responsible behavior.” ― “Boundaries define us. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.
Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.
We write off the person’s debt, and she no longer owes us. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. Boundaries are a "litmus test" for the quality of our relationships.
Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness.
Those who can't respect our boundaries are telling us that they don't love our nos. "I only like it when you do what I want.” ― “When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt.
They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch.
We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.” ― “The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. The person who owes me a debt does not have to ask my forgiveness. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.” ― “If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath.
Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us. It is a work of grace in my heart.” ― “There is a big difference between hurt and harm. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.” ― “We can't manipulate people into swallowing our boundaries by sugarcoating them.
Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out.
Even if you’re doing well, the insights you’ll gain from this much-needed book can help you fine-tune or even completely readjust important areas of your dating life. You may think you don’t know anyone who has been sexually abused, especially if most of your friends and acquaintances are Christians. The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this most “soul deadening” form of abuse.
Written by the authors of the bestselling book Boundaries, Boundaries in Dating is your road map to the kind of enjoyable, rewarding dating that can take you from weekends alone to a lifetime with the soul mate you’ve longed for. You don’t have to pretend your best relationship deeply satisfies . Personal because it may be affecting you, your spouse, a close friend or neighbor, or someone you know well at church; and specific because it goes well beyond the general issues and solutions discussed in other books. Allender’s book reaches deep into the wounded heart of someone you know, exploring the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse and laying hold of the hope buried there by the One whose unstained image we all bear.
Learning to deal with your thoughts is the first step on the road to healthy thinking.
How to handle one’s thoughts properly is what this book is all about.